Bûche de Noël: French for "Ridiculous Amount of Work"

I really don't know how people work in Starbucks.

I have schlepped my camera, camera connector, recipe and laptop all the way to Oregon, where I am working today, and I can't hear myself think over the whining of the sullen teenager sitting next to me at the counter, who apparently doesn't wish to sit with his family a few tables away but still wants to communicate from a distance.

As my friend Erika would say, le sigh.  And to think I once thought business travel was glamorous.

This month's Cake Slice Bakers pick was a challenging one:  a traditional French Bûche de Noël, or Yule log, complete with meringue mushrooms and chocolate leaves.  I set out on Saturday thinking that it would be time-consuming, but not complicated.

Boy, was I wrong.

I can't even enumerate all the things that went wrong, because it would just make me cry.  David came into the kitchen on Saturday afternoon to find me in full meltdown mode.  He then asked me to help him bring in his Christmas tree during a particularly delicate place in the French buttercream process. 

I walked away for two minutes--really!--and returned to find that my beautiful cooked meringue was not incorporating the butter and had turned into a curdled mess, which I promptly dumped down the garbage disposal.  A few minutes later, the garbage disposal started belching the mixture back up again.

Neither David nor I are particularly handy people, but he managed to fix the garbage disposal and I decided that using a cream cheese icing would make my life a lot easier at that point, which was more than two hours into the process.

Yes, the final product was pretty.  Yes, it was delicious.  In the end I posted a photo of the final result on my Facebook page and my friend Stacey, an excellent cook, reminded me that I had just spent almost four hours on the fancy version of a Hostess HoHo.

Chocolate-Almond Bûche de Noël

Adapted from The Cake Book by Tish Boyle

For the cake:

2/3 cup cake flour, sifted

2/3 cup granulated sugar

1/3 cup Dutch-process cocoa, sifted

1 1/4 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

2 large eggs, room temperature

6 tbsp. vegetable oil

1 tsp. vanilla extract

3 egg whites

1/4 tsp. cream of tartar

For the almond syrup:

1/3 cup water

2 tbsp. granulated sugar

1 tbsp. amaretto liqueur

For the frosting:

24 oz. cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1 tsp. almond extract

4 oz. bittersweet chocolate (I used Ghirardelli)

2 tbsp. soft almond marzipan paste

For the garnish:

Meringue mushrooms (may be purchased here)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Line the bottom of a standard rimmed cookie sheet with parchment paper, and then spray it with nonstick baking spray with flour. 

Whisk together the cake flour, cocoa, 1/3 cup of granulated sugar, baking powder and salt.

In a separate, larger bowl, lightly beat together the eggs, oil and vanilla.  Add the flour mixture all at once and stir until just combined.

Using a hand mixer and a clean bowl, beat together the egg whites and cream of tartar to the soft peak stage, about 5-7 minutes.  Drizzle in the remaining 1/3 cup of granulated sugar and continue beating until the whites are stiff and glossy.

Fold a third of the egg whites into the chocolate mixture until just combined, then gently fold in the remaining whites.  Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 12 minutes, or until the cake springs back when touched lightly.

While the cake is the oven, thoroughly dust a clean dish towel with powdered sugar and lay out on the kitchen counter.  When the cake is done, gently invert it onto the dish towel and remove the parchment paper.

Roll the cake up with the dish towel, starting at a long end.  Place the entire roll seam side down on a cooling rack.

To make the syrup, combine the water and sugar in a small saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring constantly.  When it boils, add the amaretto, immediately remove the saucepan from the heat and allow to cool completely.

Start the frosting by melting the bittersweet chocolate in a small saucepan with two tablespoons of water, whisking until the chocolate is completely melted.  Remove the chocolate from the heat and allow it to cool completely.

Using a stand mixer, beat the cream cheese with the powdered sugar until well blended, then add the almond extract.  This will not make a terribly sweet frosting, which kept the cake from becoming too one-note in my opinion.  You may add sugar if you prefer a sweeter frosting.

Divide the frosting into two bowls.  To one, add the cooled chocolate and beat with a hand mixer until blended.  To the other, add the marzipan and beat until blended.

To assemble the cake, unroll the cake from the dish towel.  Brush the cake thoroughly with the amaretto syrup--there will be some left over.

Using a serrated knife, trim the short ends, creating a three-inch strip and a one-inch strip.  These will be using for the branches coming off the main log.  Spread the almond frosting over these strips and roll up tightly, securing them in aluminum foil.  Place these in the freezer to firm up.

Thickly spread the almond frosting over the remainder of the cake.  Carefully reroll the cake and place it seam side down on the desired serving platter.

When the "branches" are firm enough, place them in the desired position next to the cake roll and attach them using a thin coating of the chocolate frosting.  Using an offset spatula, frost the entire cake with the chocolate frosting, using the spatula to create striations to give the impression of bark.



One of my actors demonstrating how not to eat this cake. 
Do not try this at home.



Arrange the meringue mushrooms around the log, securing the bottoms with a thin layer of chocolate frosting.  Immediate refrigerate the cake, and remove it a half hour before you plan to serve.

Serves approximately 12 people.