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Friday, August 3, 2012

I'll Have What She's Having

Today is a bit of a detour from food.  The swiss chard cakes I meant to post will wait until early next week.

Today I write an appreciation.

When I moved to Alaska, I clerked for an appellate judge for a year.  He is one of the smartest men I've ever met, but kind of shy, and a champion fiddle player to boot.  His work ethic is unparalleled.  I admire him greatly.

In addition to all of his other admirable qualities, he was happily married, with three accomplished daughters.  Earlier this summer, I learned that his wife was terminally ill.  They took a final trip together, and she died last week. 

They were married almost forty years.  His late wife was an artist and an active volunteer, in addition to working and having a happy marriage and accomplished children. 

I didn't know her, really.  I think I met her a few times when I was clerking for her husband, and then saw them during the high holy days at synagogue. 

There's a saying that you should live your life as if you knew you were dying.  But it's more than having an adventurous life:  what a satisfying thing to know that you have lived your life by doing well for others.

David and I married relatively late, in our mid-thirties.  I can only hope we will have the kind of long and happy marriage that this couple did.  I can only hope I will do as much good for others.

It's worth a try.

24 comments:

  1. So sad when someone's death leaves such a hole in so many people's hearts. But then again, even sadder if it doesn't. I don't think mid 30's is late, actually, but I wish you and David a lifetime of happiness together.

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    1. Boy, it sure seemed late! Most of my friends married in their mid to late 20s, and David and I married at 36. Thanks for the kind wishes!

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  2. That is very sad...even if you don't know the person you feel the sadness. I wish you happy and healthy life with your husband and I agree, live your life everyday like it's your last day.Thank you for sharing....

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  3. In this day of 'starter' marriages it is lovely to hear of a long and happy relationship. Sounds like this lovely lady made the most of her time. Those are the ones that leave the biggest gap.

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  4. Very sad.... :( but what an amazing thing to be able to have great memories like that from someone!

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  5. What a lovely and profound post! I know exactly how you feel, George & I married late too and are celebrating our 13th anniversary next week and I am constantly inspired by his parents who just celebrated their 50th last December! David better? Erm, what's your first name? Can't decide if I've seen it before somewhere or not, or is it a secret?

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    1. Lin, happy (early) anniversary! Incidentally, my name is Krista. "Cucina" is the Italian word for "kitchen," and I just never put my real name on the blog anywhere.

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    2. Thanks for sharing your name, I'll keep mum! x

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  6. It seems that you have written about a life's work accomplished and well done: a monument left in the hearts and minds of all who knew the departed and the family. One would have wanted more time, of course, but the remembrance should include a celebration, 'cause so many people walk thru' their time given without, sadly, leaving anything of theirs behind . . .

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  7. What a very sweet post! It's always good to see long happy marriages and great lives lived. Such things are definitely possible when you find the right person.

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  8. Lovely tribute and a great way to look at life :)

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  9. I've had the same thing happen to me recently ... 2 people that I knew have died from cancer, one was a close friend, one not so close, but it affected me so deeply! It really does make you appreciate the little things, and every moment you have. My husband and I met later in our lives too .. and I definitely want to make the most of every second we have!

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  10. I have had the same thing happen to me recently ... 2 people I knew died from cancer. One was a close friend, one not so close, but they both affected me so deeply! It really does make you think about your life and what you want to accomplish. My husband and I met later-ish in life too, and I really do want to cherish every moment we have! She sounds like a great woman. I hope he gets through this ok!

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  11. Your blog isn't liking me today - sorry for all the comments :)

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  12. It's nice to meet a couple that truly shows you what marriage should be about. I feel so sorry when you see one pass before the other like this. It reminds me of my parents married 52 years.... I don't think they will be able to exist without the other. Beautiful poignant post. May we all be so lucky to have such love in our lives. :)

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    1. My parents are getting ready to celebrate their anniversary--I am ashamed to say that I can't remember how many years it has been, but it's around 45.

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  13. I just am reeling by your post. Your words ring too true and we must remember to "Seize the Day" and savor every moment. I am glad you took time away from food and posted this remembrance and reminder.

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  14. Lovely tribute! Sorry for your loss! xx

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  15. A close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer. She is being very optimistic and brave despite going through horrible chemo sessions. I admire that she is continuing on with "life as normal" as much as possible during her treatments. She has been a reminder to me that we never know what is ahead and to appreciate all we enjoy and change, if possible, what we don't.

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  16. This is a great post, very inspiring...it really made me pause and view things from a different perspective. Here's wishing you and David all the best!

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  17. Inspiring story and we do have our moments everyday, appreciating and loving each other almost all the time.

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  18. What a lovely tribute to a great couple. How tragic but I'm so glad they were able to enjoy that final holiday together xx

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  19. I often get scared thinking about what if my husband... I'm so used to having my life with children and him, and I cannot think of missing one person. I'm very sorry to hear this story. We must appreciate small things in life and enjoy every moment being together with our partner. :-)

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